Name: Stewart, Jay Stewart.

Occupation: International Queer Spy.

Catch Phrase: Queer spy to the rescue!

How can you join me?  http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2008/08/18/3

Mmmhmmm…bust out the dildo shaped guns and stiletto powered rifles.  The queers are now welcome to become spies and rightfully so!

I’d like to submit my application first and encourage you all to add your qualifications too.

Question #1 - Do you have the ability to lead a secret identity?

Hell’s yah!  Let’s see, I discovered that I was queer around age 5 and am still surprised when somebody is like ‘oh are you queer?’  Obviously, I could become anybody or anyone that you want me to be.  As a performer, I’ve played a muslim, a Daddy, a brother, a chair fucker, a hetero, and the list goes on.  I don’t make the prettiest lady, but I’ve done that too.

#2 - Are you willing to sleep with the enemy?

Done and done!  If thrusting up a Russian’s ass will save my country, I’m there.  It’s not that I’m easy, I’m just committed to a job well done.  Plus, I’m the useful kind of queer that swings both ways.  I can lay the ladies for their secrets, while I slay the dudes for freedom.

#3 - Please highlight recent spying skills

Ever since I joined Facebook in June, I’ve become an excellent stalker.  I can tell you where all my friends are at each and every moment of the day.  Plus, who they’re sleeping with based on reading between the lines of wall posts.  Plus, my telescope in my room has allowed me to peek into the windows of many unsuspecting neighbours.  In conclusion, I spy well.

#4 - Are you fast?

I’m fast, real fast.  So fast…that I just managed to leave this post and come right back and you had no idea.

#5 - Experience with gadgets?

Well I’ve been writing this post on my macbook, while programming my ipod, and entering in the address on my GPS as to where I need to go tonight.  Is that enough gadgetry for you?

That concludes my Spy application…what traits do you have that would make you an excellent spy?

Jay Stewart